people. frustration. mental wandering.

Most of my entries have been recipes as of late. I think that is partially because there is an end. I did something, saw an outcome and in most cases, rewarded. I mean in a short time I made something. Made. Something. And the something had a sweet taste which lent to a smile for myself or the people that I shared it with. In a text to the family today, I made a comment that today feels like every other day – just different weather. Groundhog’s Day seems to be the theme.

Life is not terrible. I am really in a good place. My family is safe and the people close to me are in a good place. But the overwhelming aimlessness takes over. It creeps in like a draft through a cracked window or door and before I know it the furnace cannot keep up. I have been spending a lot of time working on self-awareness and what the ego (self) is telling me. Based on a recommendation from my therapist, I reread The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck. I have been studying, in an awareness sense, cognitive distortion and the perceptions for realities. Some days I feel like Dorey in Finding Nemo, “Just keep swimming… just keep swimming…” And also like Dorey, I forget where I am, was going, or what I intended… It is funny, really. Ironic. We are less bombarded with stimuli than we were months ago – and in a sense more overwhelmed. And while I do not think that is completely true – it is a perception that I am wrestling with.

The news is full of what people do when they feel powerless. Complaint. Rebellion. Complaints about rebellion. Opinions about opinions and so many people (myself included) disagree with what is – but do not have the answer for what should. Compound that with a million we could’s and we get a sh*tstorm in social media. Not to mention the country leadership lends itself to mushroom management. While I do not find myself being super politically charged – it is hard to not have an opinion (yay or nay) on the matters at hand. With everyone searching for the right answers and sharing the ones that they do have, I find myself in analysis paralysis. The overwhelmed feelings that have complied this week were boiled over, for me, and came out in a couple of tears while watching this comforting song and the text you are reading now. I just needed to get it out there. So there!

I do not know if I should be scared. Or should I feel safe? Do we have this under control, or are we still awaiting the other shoe to drop? Articles like this, give me hope, but if I read much more, I will find just as much reason to want to lock the doors, crawl under the covers and only let my eyes show (imagine a child hiding from a monster in the closet). Because we do have something like that going on. We do not know if it is there – or not – but the feelings exist which makes it very real… to me. So with the gloomy weather outside, and a cold front taking over, I will sip my coffee and continue to explore these thoughts. Eventually, I will likely give up and work on one of the projects that I have. (Just started my personal branding, joepederson.com… but it is not complete yet.)

Now is a great time to be a creative. Or have some projects that you have always wanted to do. Being Sunday (today), I am going to make some lists of goals for the week. Then maybe cap it off with exploring another world in my mind. Now, which project to pick?

ww. joe

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craisin cinnamon bread recipe

I am going to develop health problems by the end of the COVID-19 lockdown. I got my 1lb of yeast. Well, 3 packs were $10. 1 lb. was $18. Why not? Considering Amazon is backordered until May in many stores and the local stores seem to be out… I may just be the corner dealer. Man – what-chu-got? Yea-st. No? Ok then.

Another tweaked recipe that I found on Pinterest. I was aiming for denser and sweeter than the original recipe. Maybe I will make some frosting as well. Not sure yet. Regardless, I used the Sweet setting and 1.5 lb. loaf setting. I added the liquids, then dry ingredients. I made a pocket in the corner and put the yeast in. It ended up much more dense (in a good way – like homemade bread often does) than I expected. It was a smaller loaf so there is a lot of room to tweak things to get the bread lighter and fluffier (add an egg or yeast). The results were much more homemade-bread-like. A little more dense and heavier but not a loaf of dough. Slather some butter and it has the sweet salty appeal. You could always switch up the craisins to raisins or reduce the amount if this bread looks too fruity for you. Regardless, I think this one is a keeper.

Ingredients:

• 1 c. room temperature milk (subbed for water)
• 3 tbs. margarine/butter (added 1 tbs.)
• 1 1/2 tsp. salt
• 3 c. flour
• 4 tbs. sugar (added 1 tsp.)
• 3 tsp. ground cinnamon (added 1 tsp)
• 2 1/2 tsp. active/dry yeast
• 1 1/4 c. craisins (added 1/4 non packed)
• 2 tsp. brown sugar ( added 2 tsp.)

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It’s not if, but when we get it…

Knowing when you have been exposed to someone with Coronavirus (COVID-19) is not as far away as you may think, according to an article in my news feed. Using Bluetooth and location settings – you can be alerted. The idea could apply to just about anything, really. I suddenly imagined a world where criminals (sex offenders) etc. are monitored even more closely. And that brings an entire debate for me. I have to digest that a bit more before I comment. It is a fascinating technology, though. It does not change the future though. It is still largely reactive…

Considering influenza, aka the “flu,” and how it passes around every season and how we chase it… It does not disappear. We gamble with an educated guess for the strain of the year with vaccines and try to get ahead but people still get it. I imagine that COVID-19 will be the same way. It is not a matter of if – but when we get it, in my opinion. It is hard to hear. Maybe even scary. We are putting all of this work together – methods – protocols – lockdowns… but is it only delaying the inevitable? And there is a significant chance, I believe, that each of us will get the corona at one point or another. I am unsettled thinking about it. The disease which is responsible for a large part of the world shutting down may be here to stay. I do not think we will escape it. But by that time, hopefully, we will be in a much better place.

Our goal needs to be to avoid the virus as long as possible. I do not think – going back to normal and having a Corona party (a reference to a chickenpox party for the earlier generations) is the way to go. Each day we learn something new about it. How it transmits or which fomites it can survive on… We are experimenting with so many new things. Cures, vaccines, treatment protocols, and social norms. We have so much more to learn. This “flattening the curve” effort is crucial to our futures. The longer we can delay it, or slow it down, we recover more of our resources. Hospitals free up – and doctors can take deeper looks at treatment protocols. Everyone will not be in a triage state.

I am still tired. And every day is a circus of what Trump said. What Fauci said… Who tweeted about who. Or now, Trump is withholding funding from the WHO due to some questions about the approach to the disease. This is not a time to be drawing lines – making political points or building a platform. I do not care which president said it. Or which monarch made the point… We need to be developing a longer-term plan. Be preparing for surges. Investing in education and transparency to prepare the public. We are still not in a good place. We have priorities that we need to attend to. We can come back to dot the i’s and cross the t’s when we stabilize or at least have a solid plan (not debating behind closed doors a super-secret committee’s plan). We can review processes and who did what right – or wrong later. Though we should be agile and learn as we go. Too much time looking back and we trip going forward. It is time to just march. Pick up your neighbor and carry them if you need to. We need each other. When we go back to “normal” we will be anything but… We then need to prepare for what’s next… a surge… panic… whatever. The strategy shouldn’t be political.

Ok, I have to stop. Soapbox is getting higher up there and I need to digest all of this. I wish you all well. Stay safe – educated – and open-minded. Above all else – show compassion and be prepared.

ww. joe

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apple cinnamon dump cake cobbler sort of thing

I need to find my writing mojo. Instead of spending energy here or on my research, I decided to bake again. I mean, what goes good with cinnamon raisin bread? Cinnamon apple cake – of course, silly! And this makes a ton of it. So cut back where you need to.

Ingredients:

• (1) 16 oz. White or Yellow Cake mix
• (1) Stick of butter
• Brown sugar to your liking
• Walnuts or other nuts if you please
• (3) packages of 16 oz tubs of prepared Hormel cinnamon apples
• (You can use pineapples, cherries, or other fruit. Just remember that you will need moisture for the cake to wick up. I have found the apples are just about right. Maybe 25% sauce, so maybe 4oz of a creamy sugary cinnamon mix.)

Dump the (3) containers of apples into a 13 X 9 pan with the sides buttered. I had a few apples that were still good – but the texture wasn’t appealing (uncooked). Looking back, I would have only added 1/2 of the third container considering I added (3) sliced apples. It cooked over a bit *oops.* Spread evenly. Dump the dry cake mix on top of the fruit. I then spread it as well. Cut the stick of butter into think slices and line the top of the cake with it. Place into the oven for 20 m. at 400 degrees. After that, I brought it out, applied brown sugar and nuts. I placed back in for 20 more minutes. I had to pull it and put tin foil over the nuts and back in for 10 more mins this time. Normally I do 415-425. Hello, experimentation. The nuts will burn if too hot for too long (hence the tin foil).

I hope that you get to try this cake. Canned cherries work well also, or a mix of pineapple and cherries. The cherries, by the way, have the right amount of sauce for the cake mix. I also leave a little of the pineapple juice in when dumping. I had to experiment to find “just the right amount.” ~Goldilocks.

Today was sort of meh. Work was a slog – and the weekend, while peaceful, contained a lot of aimlessness. I did write a lot. I also got my social platforms set up. I may have mentioned that earlier. I wrote my last prison penpal today and mentally, I have check out. Well, that is how it feels. The constant alertness and negative news bombardment may have worn my down. I am sifting through the thoughts to figure that one out.

WW. joe

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avoid the corona and make some cinnamon raisin bread

Avoiding the corona, and more than social just distancing. My brain capacity seems to be shrinking. So I decided to bake. I have cooked quite a bit recently – but a treat sounded much better. I have not written for awhile, since all that I have been reading or hearing about is COVID-19. It is exhausting – and I cannot imagine being in a place like NY. I spent the last few days working on my book with whatever time and energy that I had. I have started researching about a gamer’s life. Between lining up all of the platforms (website, social site, etc.) I have been occupied. Both in a busy way – but also distracting. So – maybe I can help distract you for a minute. It was nice to be doing something. (PS. Since the yeast is now a scarce commodity, I had to cut back on baking bread. The stores as well as Amazon are out. I had to order 1lb. of yeast in order to get it before May.)

So I went to Pinterest, and found a cinnamon raisin bread recipe. I ended up at this website and proceeded to make some bread. I did some tweaking as well – go figure. It turned out really fluffy and light. So if you want it more dense then you should probably tweak the recipe, or check this one out (which I made a couple weeks ago). It turned out a little more dense. They are very similar though.

• 1 c. Milk (room temp)
• 3.5 tbs. Softened Butter (I increased .5 tbs from the original 2 tbs.)
• 4 tbs. Honey (I imagine you could use Agave – or the like)
• 2 tbs. Brown Sugar (I increased vs. the original of 1 tbs.)
• 1 Egg (Warmed to room temperature)
• 1 tsp. Salt
• 1.5 tsp. Cinnamon (I increased from 1 tsp. from the original)
• 3 c. Bread Flour (I used traditional white)
• 2 1/4 tsp. Active Yeast
• 3/4 c. Raisins (The original called for 1 c. but I didn’t have that – so I put other sweeteners in – see above)

Settings: 1.5 Loaf Size, Sweet Bread Setting

I added the ingredients pretty much in order. Except that I made sure the yeast was in the corner and not touching anything but the flower until I was ready to start. The bread is about the consistency of “store bought” white bread. You may want to add more honey – or some sugar as well if you want it sweeter. Maybe cut back slightly on the yeast for a smaller rise or perhaps removing the egg – if you want it more dense. Just some thoughts.

WW. joe

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easy cream cheese frosting, made from scratch.

Simple ingredients. And I did cheat, a bit…

My partner had a birthday today and I wanted to bake a cake. I am learning to bake, as noted in my prior post, so I cheated for the cake. (1) Yellow cake mix. Plus, honestly, I did not have a lot of time. Her parents were sneaking over and I am known for last minute things… this was one. Yes… we did social distance…

I also included the variation of the cake. It was a yellow cake mix from Aldi but I subbed ingredients. I tend to like coconut oil more. It makes a mean brownie as well. Just say’n.

Yellow Cake

• (1) Yellow Cake Mix
• (3) Med/Lg Eggs
• (1/3) c. of Coconut Oil for Vegetable Oil (melted)
• (1) c. Milk in place of Water

I mixed all of it together until there were no clumps left.

I used a 13 X 9 greased pan and put in the oven while it was preheating to 350 degrees for 25 minutes. It had been preheating for maybe 5 mins already (while I mixed the batter together).

I got the frosting idea from a recipe called “Insanely Delicious Cream Cheese Frosting,” which I pulled from Pinterest. Great recipe. I needed to tweak it just a bit since I did not have all of the cream cheese – and frankly, I was not sure that I needed 3 c. of frosting. (By the way – the amount that I made generously covered this yellow cake, and still have a container left over.)

Joe’s revised “Insanely Delicious Cream Cheese Frosting”

• (1 3/4) c. Powdered Sugar
• (6) tbs. Softened Butter
• (6) oz. Softened Cream Cheese (sat out of the fridge while I mixed the cake; not frozen)
• (2) tbs. Milk
• (1) tsp. Vanilla Extract
• (?) Drops of food coloring (I chose green)

I mixed all the wet ingredients until there were no clumps and it was smooth. Then I dumped in the powdered sugar and repeated the process. Then voila – it was good.

After the cake came out of the oven I let it cool on the stove – and then put it in the fridge to speed up the chilling process. It also allowed me to put the frosting on quicker.

The finished work. Ignore the green streaks – while writing a message with icing the tube burped or something- and green dots went everywhere. I spooned it off and reapplied. I wanted it perfect, darn-it!

Enjoy.

ww. joe

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Yummy and Easy Sweet Fluffy Hawaiian Bread-maker Recipe

Recipe’s are not my normal thing – but I thought that I would start sharing the ones that I like and make (and the tweaks that I try). Also, the random things that I pair together, that end up being nommie. Sometimes – it’s a fridge mashup. I really enjoy playing around in the kitchen. With my background (training), I know a lot about meat science, however, I am learning about baking and other food sciences.

I wanted bread. Homemade bread. So I decided to make some and I used an Admiral bread maker that I got at GoodWill and picked a recipe. (If you do not have a bread-maker and want one – there are usually several to chose from at your local thrift stores.)

The recipe:

Put the liquids in first. Flour on top. Salt in one corner, sugar in another and yeast in another. To make, I used the basic setting, which is (1) program on my maker.

• 1 c. pineapple juice (I squeezed some from actual pineapple and minced a few pieces that I squeezed into the cup.)
• 1 tablespoon of water (probably could add a little extra juice instead.)
• 2 large eggs
• 2 1/2 tablespoons olive oil
• 2 1/2 tablespoons milk
• 3 tablespoons sugar
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 4 1/2 cups bread flour
• 2 teaspoons active dry yeast

The bread turned out a little darker than I would like – so I would be aware of that inside of your maker. The recipe (as shown above) is super fluffy. It didn’t turn out as dense as some of the “homemade” bread recipes that I have made. I would also consider adding more chunks of the pineapple. It also did end up being a littler more dry than I like – so butter is my friend today. I am not an expert so you may want to tweak this to your liking. I added about about 1/2 c. more flour than the recipe called for (reflected in the recipe above). Removing that 1/2 c. may also be better considering the finished product. I also pulled it out (being impatient) so it did fall a part a bit. Oh well. Still tastes the same Easy enough that a kitchen novice could do it.

Take my experiment, tweak it to your liking – and enjoy. It is really yummy.

ww. joe

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