The past couple of weeks have been… well, just plain weird. From the odd human behaviors that are happening to psychosomatic tendencies within myself, I am just tired. Is that a fever? Do I have a cold? I didn’t wash my hands – did I? Uber alertness is frankly… exhausting. And there is no light at the end of the tunnel. Right now, we still have the light to our back as we prepare and enter this long corridor and the other side is not even in the cards yet. Those thoughts, alone, bring emotions by themselves.
I had some personal things happen last week and took a couple of days off of work. Usually, I would take the opportunity to get some R&R and bounce back. Step into the fight a’swingin’. Not so much this time. The wind is out of the sails. Kindling for the fire is all used up. My chickens seem hatched and – who was counting? Analogies galore – bottom line, its much greater this time. When I look around… when I read from the streams of information… it would seem as if we were doomsday hoarding and prepping. The super virus is kicking everyone’s ass in some form or another.
Talking to my partner, we were trying to sort out the thoughts. The tangled logic and emotion forming some rats’ nests. You know, the fishing twine style that seems better off cutting and rethreading vs. patiently pulling apart. She mentioned something today and it has sort of stuck with me. Grieving. When we think about what we are navigating it seems to bear some semblance to grief. The freedoms that have been challenged by social distancing or systems shutting down (school etc.). The mundane and predictable life that we secretly need and/or desire stripped down to nothing. Barebones. Nothing. Contact with people we know and care for… halted. Our everyday routines that make up “normal”… disrupted. And it just keeps unraveling, so would seem. It is how it feels anyway.
Some people are able to find ways. I have heard of virtual coffee dates. More and more companies are exploring remote situations. Which of, and in itself, is awesome. More and more adults being able to be with their kids vs. a cubicle in a tower in a city way downtown. But it is only great when it is an option – not the only option. If we try to see – some good things are happening. The cats are kind of herding in the same direction. Crude prices make driving in the car seem more feasible. But then where do we go? It is defeating to not have a destination. It is defeating to not be able to have one.
I am not against anything that is going on here. Don’t read into the article as a slight or message that we are doing it wrong… We may be doing things late… but I think we generally have the best of intentions to do “it” right. This article isn’t designed to have an arc or climactic point. It was me – processing – in black and white. Figuring this out with you. Figuring it out together.
I think I need to go wash my hands again and inventory my TP. What does everyone else think or feel? What sanity have you been able to sane from this? We will make it, I just know it, but it’s not clear yet. Sprinkle me with some thoughts.
Warm wishes. joe.
from WordPress https://ift.tt/2QmJfjF
No comments:
Post a Comment